Okay, I Admit It.

My "fixer-upper" was a bottle of prescription sleeping pills. Sonata, to be precise. My doctor, who I love, love, love, was telling me, "Lisa, I hate to write you a prescription. I think we need to find out what's causing the insomnia." Now, I've basically not slept well for 22 years. I don't CARE what's causing it. I've been on Effexor, Celexa, in counseling. I've taken St. John's Wort! So when Dr. Knight said that. I hissed passionately. "I just want to sleep!!!"

He wrote me the prescription. It's not working all that well, but last night, I decided I'd do the bit where you go to sleep on your own, if you wake up during the middle of the night, take the pill. Well, I did that, and I didn't need to take the pill. So it's just kind of sitting there on the nightstand, all pretty and blue, and I'm wondering if it will be kind of like that infamous "last cigarette in the pack" a person carries around for 50 years or so.

I can't say I haven't prayed to be delivered of this insomnia, or the tendency toward depression and lots of other things God's chosen not to deliver me from. But so far, I think God wants me to be a little more tormented. If I wasn't, I'd be writing books like Janette Oke's. Which is fine! If you like that sort of thing. And lots of people must because she sells far more books than I do.

Hey found a cool blog, but I'd have to scroll back to get it for you and I know I'll lose this one. I'll post it separately. If I can remember to, which is highly unlikely.

Ever want to read the Bible through in a year? Me too. Have I ever? Nope. I always start with the book of Matthew. I don't know how many times I've read Matthew because I start reading the New Testament and then get waylaid by living in these pesky, earthy husks I call a body, the frustrating thing. But today, I made it to Mark. See, miracles are still happening. I miss them all the time. How 'bout you? Any small miracles occurring around you? Personally, my favorite is breathing.

grace.

lisa