Wednesday, June 30, 2004

weirdness

First off, to answer Becca's comments: white pizza with feta, ricotta, mozzerella, basil and grilled onions. Amazing!

I'm home from CBA and my head is still a bit muddied after the 12 hour drive back from Atlanta yesterday (and the always thrilling view of what we call "The Peach Butt" water tower outside of Gaffney South Carolina.) So without further ado --

THE TOP TEN WEIRDEST THINGS I SAW AT THE CHRISTIAN BOOKSELLERS ASSOCIATION CONVENTION

10. T-shirt: bearing a soaring skateboarder and the words "Rapture Practice." Hmm. What if Jesus just simply comes again? Won't that guy be mad he wasted all that time skateboarding?

9. Living Water, bottled water. You know, I think I'm going to start naming all sorts of items after descriptive imagery of God. How 'bout Bread of Life English Muffins. Or Light of the World Patio Torches?

8. T-shirt: Budweiser-like frogs and "Don't Croak Without Jesus."

7. Holy Bears, odd looking stuffed bears. Especially holy was the one with military insignia. (Why that? Why not a UPS bear? Or one that looks like the mustachioed guy on pizza boxes?)

6. In-Souls Socks (yep more socks) motto: "Stand on the word of God." I don't even know what to say to that!

5. The Maker's Diet. Just can't get around the weirdness of that, considering Jesus, God Himself, told us to "take no thought to what we eat or drink." Which, being interpreted means to my particular pallet - "let's break out the queso dip!"

4. T-Shirt: a picture of the Bible and the words, "Life Would Be So Easy if Everybody Read the Manual." Really? Shoot, that Jesus just didn't get it right then, did He? And to be honest, us schmucks who try to read the manual regularly still don't get it right, and does getting it right make life easy anyway? Shouldn't getting it right bring us into a whole new, glorious level of hard?

5. Sticker for your car: Pro God, Pro America, Pro Bush. What the . . .? Guess it's true then, God really is an American.

4. Proverbial Wisdom Board Game: "the exciting game of proverbial fun." Okay, maybe I'm just thickheaded but what's so "fun" about the Proverbs? Am I just a wet blanket?

3. EvangeCube. I don't know how to even describe this one. Think rubic's cube with the gospel message. But the guy was nice.

2. Officer of the Lord. Some martial arts looking guy with all sorts of holy armor will come to your church! (I'm sure he's a very nice man, but again, folks, we're just talking weird, weird, weird.)

1. A wonderful painting. Picture this. George Bush, head bowed in prayer as he stands behind a podium with the presidential seal on the front. Ghostly apparitions of George Washington and Abe Lincoln stand on either side of him, heads bowed, hand on GW's shoulder. Quite possibly the strangest picture I've ever seen in my life. Other than Nude Descending a Staircase in which I just can't see the nude, which is probably the point. I've always like Miro better anyway.

So . . . anyone want to add their "odd" bit? Would be most welcome!

grace,

lisa

PS: later - what was very good at CBA.

6 Comments:

Blogger Katy said...

Lisa, Well. As long as no one's marketing Scripture bras with verses like "I lift up mine eyes to the hills," it's all good! ;)

June 30, 2004 at 2:48 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

I want an Evangecube now! Although I don't think us Christians can jumble up the gospel worse than we do now. Except to possibly simplify it down to the level of candy land bingo.

How about some socks with the devil on the bottom so we can stomp on him when he puts "bad thoughts" in our heads?

June 30, 2004 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Oh wait...maybe child-like faith is candy land bingo...

July 1, 2004 at 12:06 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I was curious enough to look for the painting of Bush. Makes me a little queasy. Notice the halo and the crucifix of light. Now we all can see it:
http://www.onlineartmall.com/limited/rondicianni/main.cgi?command=rdc0016

July 1, 2004 at 2:42 AM  
Blogger lisa said...

Thanks for providing that link, Elizabeth. Now maybe we can round up pne of Katy's Scripture Bras for uplifting inspiration!

July 1, 2004 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Jaime H. said...

Boy, am I behind on my blogs!!!

Kevin, I'm with you! Let's get stomp-on-satan socks. Isn't there that verse in Romans that says that God will shortly crush satan under our feet?

Holy socks....bring 'em on!

I'm still stunned that all this stuff is marketed (and selling, I presume).

Jaime

July 20, 2004 at 12:57 AM  

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